Are You F***ing Kidding Me …?

Q: So you see yourself as a sinner?
A: Yes. I fail and do things that I wish I didn’t do.
Q: Such as?
A: I’m unkind on occasion, and I am selfish. For me, embracing the Christian faith is something that I do not because I am good but because I am not good, because I need help.
Q: Why? Do you drink?
A: I drink probably a quart or two a day, but not of alcohol! I don’t consume alcohol at all. I’ve never had a mixed drink.
Q: Have you ever smoked a cigarette?
A: No. I puffed on a cigar one time, and it just made my mouth feel like someone had shot a cobweb all inside my mouth.
Q: In addition to songwriting, you dabble in the visual arts. What sort of work do you do?
A: I make barbed-wire sculpture.
Q: Why barbed wire?
A: Because there was a surplus of it on my farm.
Q: Well, thank you for making time for this interview.
A: I just hope that in meeting people, they’ll understand that I am not as bad as they thought I was.

— John Ashcroft, October 16, 2006.

I could not make this up if I wanted to …

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4 thoughts on “Are You F***ing Kidding Me …?

  1. lmao…This is priceless! apokraphyte, if you DID make it up, I’m selling my car & buying the rights to the feature-length version. I get first dibs, ok?

  2. that man is evil for the very simple reason that he had COVERED all the breasts of sculptures at the Department of Justice or whatever was the name of the place I visited 2 summers ago.

    wtf does he know about art and sculpture, that little weasel.

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